Most people would say yes and so they expend lots of energy and marketing on building and gaining trust with their clients, their team, investors etc.

But I’d like to suggest something different.

If your focus is on gaining trust from others in you, your offering and your vision, there is an undercurrent agenda looking for another to believe in you, to see you, to like you, to look up to you, to need you etc etc…….in simple terms – to validate you.

This poses some problems.

  • Even though you most likely are very well intentioned, because it’s about you, it is about you and not the service to the client or the vision you have chosen to create
  • Because it’s about you, your reality will play like a pendulum – you will be validated at times (which looks like sales, people coming in on your team, investors buying in) and you will be invalidated at other times (no sales, people quitting, investors losing interest)
  • You’ve heard the saying that ‘it takes time to build trust’ and ‘you can’t rush these things’ which means that it WILL take time and you will be subjected to a process rather than the result
  • The power is outside of you – it’s in them out there and you become dependant on them to give you what you want

I’d like to elevate the conversation, that instead of building trust, you go for resonance.

Resonance suggests a couple of things –

⭐That there are people who are on the same wave length as you

⭐That you may have a shared purpose with these people who are on the same wave length as you

⭐And that at the end of the day, we are all walking each other home and there are some people travelling the same road who can help each other out

Ponder this contrast.

I have this offer/vision. It’s this and it’s really, really amazing. Do you see it? Do you believe it? Do you want it? What else do I need to do so that you can see how amazing it is? Let me show you my results. Or maybe you’d like to try before you buy (get on my data base and receive newsletters, resources, a free or lower cost program) and how about this discount? It might make it easier for you”.


“I have this offer/’vision. It’s this and it’s really, really amazing.”

The difference is obvious right?

The first seeks validation and it’s full of process to get to the end result.

The second seeks resonance. It either resonates or it doesn’t and if it does, it’s a simple ‘yes’ and process becomes secondary to that end result. ’Yes, and how do we get started?’ rather than ‘Yes, but I don’t have the money yet’ (which is a ‘no’ and if you’ve made it about you, you’ve just been invalidated) or ‘I’m not sure. How about we do this first and then we’ll see?’ (and now you’ve become compromised).

Don’t get me wrong. I too believed that it was about trust and not so long ago, whilst I most loved to deliver my year long Mastermind Program, I had an 8 week program as the first step. And then in August 2014 I had a very strange dream and in that dream I felt like I was awake and I’d been instructed to bring 3 people directly into what I most loved delivering – the year long Mastermind program. I woke up somewhat startled by the dream (it was a really odd experience!) and then realised that I’d unconsciously had a self made rule where I decided that people could not enter the Mastermind upfront even if they wanted to! Why? Because I believed that people needed to trust me and the process first before they’d commit to that type of program.

I will never forget a 52 minute FB chat that week with someone who I’d never met. 52 minutes of resonance. No proving, no evidence, no build up first. No selling. Not even a voice to voice conversation! Just intuitive resonance that both of us could feel. Two more people came in that week in very similar, exhilarating ways.

I will also never forget a conversation with someone who within the first five minutes of the conversation, the intuitive resonance was just so strong, that I spoke to that and said something like ‘You know that you and I are a done deal right?….and we really don’t need to have more of a conversation.’ It felt so risky (and not normal) that I almost didn’t say it, but the resonance in the air was so compelling that it was the elephant in the room and so I named it. The commitment to a year long, high accountability and results program was made in 5 minutes. Having said that we did continue speaking because we enjoyed getting to know each other and also because the mind came in after wanting to understand what she’d committed to. And here is a perfect example of resonance creating connection in the form of a ‘yes’ first and process becoming secondary to the end result.

There is so much more I could say about ‘multidimensional creating’ which is a dynamic of resonance, but that will be for another time.

And back to the idea of building trust. In the context of resonance, the need to have it first is redundant and instead implicit in the resonance of the connection.

Have your sales been sloppy? Have you ended up working with clients who want more for less, who are behind in their payments, who want you to prove yourself before they commit, who feel like more hard work than it’s worth?

Do you feel like you are continuously chasing your tale with your cash flow, team, partners, investors?

Does your offering feel off and it’s fulfilment factor dead (or dying)?

Do you look at your peers and see them flying and have a sense that this is for you to have as well, but don’t know how?

Do you feel a dissatisfaction in your current state of affairs?

Resonance may be calling.

When there is resonance in you, your vision & offering and your business model (how you do business), the fulfilment and results that you will have are far greater than what you could have ever conceived of. In the Soul Family Mastermind program, we call these ‘quantum results’; results that to the human eye are seen as miraculous and have far greater reach without necessarily having to do anything extra.

Do you feel the resonance calling you to effort less and instead receive your own quantum results?





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